Ask Jas: Letter to the Editor

ask jas  Ask Jas: Mr. Lost In Love

  L.I.L writes:

I need your help. You see I work for this amazing woman and what started out as a purely professional, then to a friendly rapport, but I am afraid that my feelings run too deep for her now. Her name is musical Harmony, I love music and I often sing the do re mi range just for the hell of it. Harmony is a strong woman, I’m talking Olivia Pope type of woman. I’m not threatened by her power even though she is technically my boss, I only work for her part time, she doesn’t know that I’m an executive vice president somewhere else and I own my own business. I started working for her because I saw her talent and I wanted to learn from her.

I’ve caught feelings, she has a man, in my heart I know I’d be a better man for her. However, as long as he makes her happy I’d find someway to reconcile this within myself, because that’s all I really want for her is to be happy. When she calls a staff meeting, I’m the first man in the conference room. No matter what she asks of me, I’m there. She may not even have a clue about my feelings for her. To complicate matters further a woman I had been wanting to date, relented and decided I was worthy enough, but all I could think about all day was Harmony. Yvonne even stated that my body was here with her but my head seemed miles away, and she was right, but I said it was just work.

I’m writing you because I need to know if I should pull beck my duties at work, should I put on a full court press and try to win Harmony, or stop listening to silly love songs and try to see where things go with Yvonne?

Lost In Love

Dear Lost in Love,

The first piece of advice I can give you is to be true to your heart. At the moment, if you feel that you must separate work for personal time because of your feelings then you may need to do that. If you can handle the interaction and work; be sure to continue your job. As for her relationship, you can only give respect where it’s due and keep it pushing. I think that if she has clue of who you are as a person you aren’t invisible. You have to understand that if you entered the picture after her and her man started out then you have to sadly hope that they end dramatically. If she is Olivia Pope as you say continue to be her Harrison or Huck and get the job done. One thing we’ve learned from Liv Pope is she cherishes her friends and they cherish her; of course, it’s harder being Friend Zoned, but you have to decide what’s worth it. Leaving her or staying around and growing together is the question you have to question yourself.

On behalf of Yvonne, I would say before you get in a critical stage of any relationship you have to be honest with yourself about your feelings for that person. Are you only sexually attracted to her? Are you motivated by her? Does she ignite a fire you? Are you sacrificing who you are at your core to be with somebody because the woman you love has somebody? I would need you to answer those questions first. If you aren’t motivated, moved, or excited about Yvonne; she isn’t the girl you want to date. Don’t just bullshit someone because the one you want isn’t unattainable. You better treat Yvonne just as well or move on. We love honesty and hate douche bags. I don’t think you’re a douche but you can transform into one. 

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