Bottom line, black girls need their fathers! Yes, all girls deserve the unconditional love from their father, but I can only speak for the little brown girls that look like me.
My father wasn’t present in my life after 2 and I sought him out to reconnect with him at age 18. He had been married to my mother and their marriage was filled with dramatic events such as drug usage and domestic violence. With all that I heard and what I couldn’t confirm, I wanted my daddy more than a sip of water.
As a girl, I didn’t have the daddy-daughter dances, a daddy to threaten my prom date, or a daddy to kiss my boo boos like Jaslyn has. It took a big part and chunk of my heart. My mother provided for my sisters and I alone without any of our father’s heart. Yet, I found that I was still wanting to know what my daddy was doing, why he had forsaken me, and when was I going to get the chance to cuss his ass out.
I met him and everything that I wanted to say mean melted away. I had my daddy! Of course, I had a father too, but still! Black women are hypersexualized, under valued, ridiculed, and has the stereotype of angry. Most of us ain’t even angry, we just have RBF (resting bitch face)!
It felt good to have someone with the same DNA like my mother loving me back. We met in person loved each other, but I still feel defiant sometimes with the idea of being his daughter after all these years. I am exclusively independent, dependable, control freak, and have dated a lot of undesirables searching for daddy’s hug.
Lira Galore is just like all the normal black girls in which her father lived three stops away (a damn mess). On the show Fix My Life with Iyanla Vanzant, she talks about the trauma she experienced with men and life without a nearby, non-active parent. Here’s the video:
The pain she’s feeling and expressing are the same that girls without daddy’s can/might/have felt. The inner girl in here hasn’t healed and Iyanla teaches her how to communicate, express herself fully, and not to run from those personal demons. Within the black girl community, women are uplifting women, but there aren’t many (brothas who do, thank you) black men who are speaking on our behalf. Our fathers are our first love, protector, superman, and anything else that a daughter needed throughout her life!
With disappointments come our constant mistakes. Here’s another clip of Lira discussing her personal life.
Black men, we see you, we love you, we respect you, but we need a man to protect us and what better person to protect than someone you helped make! Flesh, bone, and love/like/lust created that little girl looking for her father.
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