Is Being Cool with your Significant Other a MUST in your Relationship?
When I was a tender twenty-year-old, my best friend/boyfriend’s brother passed. It was the hardest time in his life and I honestly didn’t know how to be a good girlfriend amid the storm. We began to fight. His aunt begins to dislike me and wouldn’t speak to me when I’d enter the room. I don’t know what I had done and honestly, I was young and my feelings were crushed. I focused on all the issues that seemed to happen and eventually we had to call it quits. But then we called it on and he secretly would come home from college and lie to his family about his whereabouts. He would act as if he wasn’t my boyfriend to avoid the familial issues we had going on. Enough was enough—I was not cool with his family and he could NOT handle it. We separated, he married, and I’m Jaslyn’s mother.
That experience taught me to never get that close to a person’s family because it could literally tear your relationship apart. It made me realize that privacy in relationships is such an important factor and everything that goes on doesn’t need to relay to the family. But then I fell for someone else and loved his mother to death. Well, we broke up and we aren’t as close anymore. That situation hurt my heart again.
So I ask is being cool with your boo’s family a MUST? No. You aren’t dating his family, you are dating him. Be cordial and speak. Be intelligent and make sure you speak your mind. If you aren’t comfortable enough to go to every family event, it’s okay to not go. You can miss girl’s night out or skip a movie with his mother or sisters. It’s not a requirement. I will admit it makes it so much more fun loving someone and that person’s family loves you. But it is not a requirement.
Sometimes, families stick their nose in things they have no business being in. They manipulate and can tell lies. They can be stressful. I am not deterring you from getting to know bae’s family, I’m saying be careful to be in their face. Keep a comfortable balance between you all. Establish respect for their family and receive it back. Keep your eyes open and love your man.