Hey Sis, I’ve Been Depressed NOT a Negative Nancy
Hey sis, I’ve been depressed not just a Negative Nancy. Depression after motherhood can happen and usually last for two to three weeks before going away. But according to Tula Karras, author of article “PMADs- Such as PPD and Anxiety- in African American Moms,” up to 20 percent of women develop a perinatal mood or anxiety disorder (PMAD), such as anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder or (rarely) psychosis. However, I understand not wanting to be overloaded with negative rants from negative ass friends who ALWAYS whining about issues that everyone else in the world has.
The thing is that we as black women do not understand letting go of ego to cry out for some type of moral support when life is overwhelming and stressful. We are trying to be superwomen but our capes keep getting stuck in the doors as it slams behind us. We just need girl time, cocktail hour, brunch, a shoulder to cry on, someone to make us leave our solitude. Depression is such a hard thing to deal with when you have to be a parent to an active child.
The child isn’t the issue. It’s more about not feeling like yourself, but also not getting enough rest, feeling fat, your vagina being weird, your man begging for vagina even though a baby just popped out of it like ‘Hello, world!” It’s about figuring out what the next step in life will be with a kid and if the person that you had a child with is there physically and emotionally. Then after 6-13 weeks, we are stripped away from the new loves of our lives to work like slaves and spend half our days with a bunch of MFers we cannot even stand to have a conversation with.
Anyways, sis please don’t forget that I love you and that I care about you just as much as you do me. I will always be here for you, but this is just a very rough time for me. I understand that you have to do what’s best for you to preserve your peace. I support your goals, dreams, and want to listen to your tea. I want to celebrate in what you celebrate in and whenever I can land me a babysitter, I would still like to partake in a turn up session. Live your life, but don’t forget about me too much!
If you are the friend that is going through depression, please be mindful that everyone has issues but in your state of mind, positive speak isn’t to down you. It is to creative active speaking to turn around the mishaps of your life. Everyone will not understand, but they will attempt to help you. Be sure to be receptive, not negative toward your friend, and always bring up whatever you feel to have an active discussion. It’ll make the friendship or relationship stronger to have active dialogue.
If you are friends to the depressed person, please do not let their depression slip through the cracks. Now, I’m not saying let your negative friend ruin your day, but just be mindful that weeks of the same depressed behavior is hard to control, understand, and may need some space. Just keep a positive word, check in if possible, and voice you want to see them happy. That’s all you can do outside of offering psychological help from a therapist.
Make sure that both of you, friend and depressed person, keep an open amount of dialogue and everything will work itself out.
Affirmation for self-healing: I WILL WIN THIS BATTLE, I AM CAPABLE OF SURVIVING, & I AM ON TOP OF MY GAME. DEPRESSION WILL NOT WIN. I AM NO LONGER DEPRESSED.