There comes a time in life where immaturity should be behind you. But for others, it never leaves. I have met fully grown women that act like children when it comes to emotionally expressing themselves. By no means is anyone perfect, but we should learn to be cordial without being catty. In circles, there is usually a mutual friend of you and another girl. Usually, that friend isn’t the closest to you but you aren’t bothered. You just want to get with your girls and enjoy some free time. I don’t want to put up with the cattiness because you are threatened by my presence. I am so unbothered which is why it gets easier to fly solo after awhile. I rarely hang out and when I do, I just want some interaction. But before the night is over, there is a bit of shade thrown for no reason. I start to think, “What did I do? What did I say?”
More and more women are starting to use the phrase “small circle.” More and more women are becoming anti-social. More and more women are staying home because they just don’t want to deal with the draining energy of women who are insecure about themselves. We spend our entire lives trying to find our niche and connect with others. We end friendships, begin new ones, and some just don’t make it to the threshold of real trust. Some just dissolve and others become a distant memory while the person we knew becomes a stranger. Why is it so hard for women to form lasting bonds? Also, just because you can drink with the person and have a good time doesn’t mean that they are the same person sober. Drunk friends are always fun because they just don’t care. But will you like me when I am sober? I remember the alcohol infused nights, endless ideas, and endless plans for the next meet up. They usually involve alcohol.
As I have come into the age of 30, I want friends that are intellectual, real, and love themselves. There is something beautiful in self-love because it allows you to be really happy. You don’t compare yourself to others and you don’t expect others to praise you all the time. I noticed that alcohol makes everyone very nice (giggles). But what about when our friends have ugly, heartbreaking, and shattering moments? What about when our friends really need us? Are we really there? Emotional investment in a friendship takes a lot out of you and requires selflessness. I don’t know too many people who really want to do that. I don’t know too many people that want to be there when the times are bad. This is where you start to question the immaturity level? For all those women that we can share lemonade with, for all those that just make us tea, and for all the women that listen when you just need an ear– Thank you. We need more friends like you. I used to really cherish friendships until I felt the sting of betrayal, the depth of lies, and the unyielding secrets of ulterior motives. I then became a loner. I just ended up with associates. I realized I needed to be my own friend. I needed to give myself loyalty, love, honesty, and truth. Today, I stand with the scars of friendships past and I can only think about how much I need to be my own.
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Jenne’ Richardson (Savvy Black Girl) is from Little Rock, Arkansas but enjoys fashion from all over the world. She enjoys making fashion statements with her eclectic pieces and is always changing her hairstyles. All of her friends consider her the go-to guru when it comes to putting a look together. Jenne’ considers herself to be a fashionologist, because she believes fashion represents your personality. As a Psychology major from Philander Smith College, Jenne’ likes to explore what fashion does to the soul. Her motto is: “Style always gives the first impression”. Follow Jenne via Twitter @Shoeicide25.