What Men Really Want: Real Men that is!
We are all guilty of assuming we know what our men are feeling and what they want. The bottom line is we are only assuming based off of how we feel, think, and act. Women need to stop trying to figure out what our men feel and chill. Pardon My Audacity sat down with Queens rapper J. Had and expressed some much needed clarification for my ladies in relationships and ladies who are trying to find relationships.
Jas: What do men want?
J.Had: Every man has different tastes. But when it comes down the basic structure, men want to be held up. Men want to be understood and appreciated. We walk through life feeling the burden of moving our families forward into a better way and what we want from our women is that extra bit of motivation that says “I believe in you”. All the fighting, cursing out, misunderstandings and everything, that’s part of the territory, but a real man can look past all of that if he feels like his woman truly has his back and is willing to hold him down through anything.
Jas: Why do men cheat if they love their girls/wives?
J.Had: Well really, that stems from a couple different things that I believe all men are born with. It starts from evolution and the thrill of the hunt. I mean most people will tell you, you could have the best steak you ever ate in your entire life and your first instinct is to find another steak. It also stems from women too. Women want to be pursued and chased. I feel the best way to avoid those types of problems is in fact, women have to continually change their appearance throughout a relationship. Make your man believe he’s actually being with a different woman. Do different things. Learn a new language, cut your hair, or color it. Don’t get boring because even the most satisfied men will still follow a bad chick on Instagram at least.
Jas: Is sex really that important?
J.Had: Sex is absolutely essential. We all need it. Man and woman. In my experience, being in a relationship and serving as the primary breadwinner in said relationship; all it takes is a song, or being in the mall and seeing a sexy woman trying on some shoes and a man will be aroused. I choose to take that arousal home to my beautiful lady and give it all to her. The key though is to allow each other that release. Nothing will ruin a relationship faster than pinned up sexual frustration.
Jas: Is a little weight gain a deal breaker?
J.Had: Absolutely not. Change is healthy for long term relationships. Especially if it’s a small gain. I think most men find it kind of sexy when a woman adds a little meat to her bones. More things to grab. All of a sudden, that booty pokes out a little more, or those cheeks are a little fluffier and you want to plant a kiss on them more often. I haven’t found a real man yet who has truly complained about a little weight gain.
Jas: Women think they know men but end up in a constant state of assumption, what advice could you give these females?
J.Had: STOP. A woman can’t fathom how we think and in many cases, we can’t fathom how they think either. The truth is you think you know because of what we tell you. Problem with that is, most men will tell you anything as long as it means he can get in your drawers. If a man notices you like to play the dominant role in a relationship and feel like you’re in charge, he’ll gladly take the back seat. But that same man may be in a relationship with a more timid woman and have her making him sandwiches after Sunday head. Don’t be fooled into this false sense of “the secret”. The secret is it’s still a secret.
Jas: Give advice to the single girls trying to make their men fall for them.
J.Had: Take your time. Love is an evolution, not a revolution. There’s no point in time where it can be declared “now THIS is love”. No, you kind of just know. You wake up one day and look at him lying next to you and you feel safe. You feel at home. You feel like you could do this for the rest of your life. It’s the quiet moments. The thoughtful moments when a man will reveal himself to you. It’s not in the shopping sprees, it’s not in the jealous texts and insecurities. It’s not even in the “meeting his mama”. It’s in the sacrifices. Once a person truly gives himself to you, he will be vulnerable and naked. And you’ll be able to see his soul. That’s love ladies. And that’s not easy.
If this isn’t the realist advice and conversation I’ve had with a man I don’t know what is. J.Had kept it 100% with the us for the ladies and now we want to know how you ladies feel. Do you think J. Had has great points or do you think he’s trying to keep the male mind a secret? We believe him. What about you?
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